My Summers with Bob Barker

With the weather getting warmer, I can’t help but to remember the good ole days of summer filled with baby sitting, swimming, and Bob Barker. Each week day, I would head over to watch the boys. At first, I got there early so we could have breakfast and plan an eventful day. But it always seemed like the boys stayed in their pajamas well after I got there, laying on the couches and eating cereal. So I decided I was going to sleep in a little bit and get the boys closer to 10. Well, they still weren’t motivated by 10, so I turned on the TV, looking for a weather report, hoping to entice them with swimming. But instead of the Weather Channel, the TV was already on CBS. The boys loudly objected when I tried to switch stations – they wanted to watch The Price is Right.

“Why?” I’d ask, “So you can check out the girls showing off cars and dishwashers?”

“No, because they might have Plinko!”

Plinko. We waited half the summer for Plinko. And while waiting for Plinko, we decided it would be fun to pretend we were in the audience and shout prices at everyone. Sue Bee Honey was on practically every day. And it was eighty-nine cents. And no one ever got it right. It became our battle cry, “Eighty-nine cents, eighty-nine cents!”

And boy did we love watching that wheel spin. We’d crack up every time someone’s second spin netted them with $1.05. We’d jump up and down and holler when someone got one dollar on the first spin. And then the Showcase Showdown, oh how fun that was! We always made guesses at the prices, and we were usually way off. Too bad they didn’t have Sue Bee Honey in the showdowns.

By the time someone was driving off in their new RV or checking out their new living rooms, the boys were ready to enjoy summer. But then I decided they needed to learn about the world. Right after The Price is Right, I’d make them sit and watch the news. At first I told them we needed to see if it was going to rain that day, but then I gave up on that idea and told them they had to have some clue as to what really happened out there. We’d see what was going on, wait for the weather, and then I’d give in and turn the TV off before the sports came on, but that was really only because I didn’t like sports back then. So we’d go to the pool, or the skate park, or to a movie (we saw Rugrats like, five times that summer), and we’d have to be back to their house in time to watch TRL on MTV. That’s when I taught them that there was more to life than N’Sync and Britney and Christina. Kid Rock made the countdown so I had to teach them about rock/rap and explain to them why it was a good idea for me to get my eyebrow pierced. Of course they decided they wanted pierced, too, but I let their mom handle that one. And the one about me having a baby and not being married, but that’s another story.

Not very long ago, I finally started college and got a job on campus at the restaurant. Imagine my surprise when the youngest of the boys I babysat came through my line and showed me his college ID. Now how is it possible that the little boy I used to baby sit and try to talk out of liking pop music was in college now? Worse, how is it that he’s almost done? This doesn’t make me old, does it? Or that my baby is now twelve? Or that I gave up on the body piercings long, long ago? Or that the last time I heard Pantera I decided I was over them? No, no… They may all be getting older, but I am still young and hip and cool and…. Oh who am I kidding…? I’m old. I can’t even stand to watch the new Price is Right with stupid Drew Carey. It’s just not the same without Bob. Lord help me, I sound like an adult!

And by the way, spay or neuter your pets, or Bob and I will come after you!

Is Severus Snape a "Creep?"

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
And I wish I was special
You're so fucking special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

She's running out the door
She's running out
She's run, run, run, running out

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here

"Creep," by Radiohead, obviously.

Doing research for a class, I came across the lyrics and read some comments others have left regarding it, and saw one where someone said that Thom said in an interview that he wrote this about an obsession he had that lasted about eight months, and it ended badly, and she knows who she is. I decided this song should be dedicated to Snape and Lily, from the wonderful world of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter. Snape was so in love with Lily that when she rejected him, he ran in the opposite direction, and wrapped himself in darkness. "I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control." Snape was so hurt by Lily's rejection that he went somewhere, anywhere (to Voldemort) to try to get over the pain she caused (even though HE caused it, Snape was very emo, ha), but he couldn't forget her, and even though he was trying to submerse himself in a new life, he just couldn't get over his feelings for her, and when he found out she was going to die, he betrayed his new life to save her. And when that went wrong, he was stuck with a constant reminder of her, day in and day out, once Harry got to school. Sure, Harry looked like his dad, whom Snape hated, but repeatedly it was mentioned that Harry had his mother's eyes, and how many hours had Snape spent looking into those eyes, or wishing he could look into them? So every time he saw Harry, he saw Lily, and relived the pain of her rejection and death, and continued to live a tortured life. But even through the pain, he'd so whatever it took to keep Lily's child safe, hoping that that act, somehow, could be his redemption, could let Lily forgive him when they met again in the afterlife. But in the meantime, he was just a creep.